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soda-licious died with the dinosaurs??   
01:56am 20/02/2005
mood: sick
i had full intentions of deleting this ournal, as it seems more than pointless to update. unfortunately, i just cant seem to bring myself to do so...
besides, it proves to be the one method of communication i have with kristie that tends to be consistent.

well, so much has happened since i last updated!! and i dont know where to begin. so i shal start by saying....

thin ice are an awesome band!! i shall miss seeing them terribly. i was super awesome to see them once again. and awesome for val and i to claim original thin ice girl status!! the show brought back alot of fun memories!! (jams, matts terrible x's, after jam milkshakes, demo recording...)

weirdly enough, everything lately seems like two years ago, only completely different!!
i am oh so excited to finally be moving!! the countdown is on! five more months and i shall no longer be living in canada!! i cant wait!! though i will miss everyone here, as well as all the memories that have taken place in this town!
that is all for tonight! goodnight to all!
can it be erased?   
01:04am 11/01/2005
mood: devastated
this past week has left me feeling more lost and confused than i have probably ever felt in my entire life. never before have i have felt more hurt and more alone. and never did i expect that someone i cared for so much could be able to hurt me in the way that they did.
i am so confused about what i think and who i can trust. i wish so much that i had the ability to go back and correct the mistakes that i had made. maybe if i had been able to do that, i would not be left feeling this at this moment.
i just need to feel like this is all happening for a reason. i need to know that something incredible will come of this horrible situation, that may not have otherwise. and in the least, i need to have learned something from all of this. and i need to know that this will never happen again.
right now, i just need my best friend.
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12:38am 05/01/2005
mood: bored
courtesy of charlotte:

1.What color pants are you wearing? dark denim
2.What are you listening to right now? the vanishing red
3.Soup or Salad? pasta salad!
4.What was the last thing you ate? salt and pepper tofu
5.If you were a crayon, what color would you be? brown
6.Weather right now? a light sprinkle of snow (beautiful)
7.Last person you talked to on the phone? matthew
8.Do you like the person who sent this to you? charlotte and i are twins!
9.How do you feel today? jaded and overtired
10.Favorite drink? soy chai latte
11.Favorite alcoholic drink? jessie doesnt drink, but when i did, fireball!12.Favorite sport? gymnastics? (the only sport i ever did) or skateboarding?
13.Hair color? today, black with red roots and bangs
14.Eye color? grey-green
15.Do you wear contacts? i wear glasses
16.Siblings and their ages? only child
17.Favorite food? salt and pepper tofu, matts pakoras, clodhoppers, pineapple
18.Last movie you watched? drop dead fred hahaha
19.Favorite day of the year? my birthday, or halloween
20.Are you too shy to ask someone out? im too shy to breathe
21.Summer or Winter? autumn
22.Relationships or one night stands? neither
23.Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate
27. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? in a house?
28.What's on your mouse pad? a mouse?
30.FAVORITE Video GAME? the emo game!
31.WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? slaved at second cup
32.FAVORITE SMELLS? cocoa butter, coconut
33.CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? yes, the only thing my big nose is good for.
34.WHAT INSPIRES YOU? my insanity
36.FAVORITE CAR? i hate cars
37.Favorite flower? iris
38.How many keys on your key ring? maybe 6?
39.Can you juggle? nope
40. Who would you HATE to be trapped in a room with? myself
41. 7-Up or Sprite? i hate soft drinks
42. Coffee? carmello
43.FAVORITE PERFUME? ralph lauren is yummy!
red hair!   
12:27am 05/01/2005
mood: insomniac
it was so nice to have kristie over! though her visit was not nearly long enough!! we had fun in the short time she was here, though we sould have caused much more havok than we did!! ah well, setting up people continues to prevail! and we will be sure to pay a visit to mike next time that he shall never ever forget!!
it was nice just to be able to talk about stuff and nonsense. no matter how long we are apart, it seems as though we talk everyday. kristie looks like she is doing wonderfully! she seems so mature now though! i feel as though everyone around me is growing up and putting their lives together and i cant seem to do the same. i still fell like im at the awkward teenage stage, where i am unsure of everything! it is a phase i hope i will outgrow!!

anyhow, i dyed my hair yet again! this is the fifth time this month. after a long debate between red and black, i settled on red. the colour it turned into is not quite what i had anticipated, but its alright. matthew told me it was beautiful- he is such an awesome friend!!!!
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07:58pm 24/12/2004
mood: lonely
today is my first of three consecutive days off! it was far from productive, but what else is there to do on christmas eve? i still need to buy presents for matts birthday but i wasnt going to attempt a feat like that today!(maybe i can do that on boxing day). why do i procrastinate so?!

so, i am spending 100$ on vinyl. is there any justification for that? probably not, but i assume it is ok, since i am not spending ridiculous amounts of money on christmas nonsense. am i ever glad i dont celebrate christmas!
speaking of which, yesterday a customer was discussing christmas and hannukah and out of nowhere he says that all jews are murderers! i took huge offense and got into a huge debate with him and said that it was ignorant people like him that spurred the holocaust. this all took place in front of my boss- im hoping i still have a job on monday!

i defintiely need to call kristie this weekend! we need to make plans!

i need a haircut!
thank god lj cant predict my life!   
12:33am 11/12/2004
mood: tired
How much do your LJ friends love you? by ladybugadria
choose one
loves you lotsmissionlessdays
thinks of you as their best friendiwilldeny
pretends to like youkrispy_
wants to move your relationship to the next levelihatecory
wants you in bedxmarifulx
Loves your quirkinesslafemmekenza
desperately loves to read your journalemumoshcrew
Loves you more than you knowiwilldeny
thinks you are stangexmarifulx
Quiz created with MemeGen!

imagine that?!
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i feel very very old   
11:30am 09/12/2004
mood: confused
it is my birthday in nine days. i am no longer excited. i think i am going through a quarter-life crisis. that is all. good day.
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11:43pm 03/12/2004
mood: confused
dear kristie-
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!i wish for you a day filled with much love and hot emo boys! and vegan chocolate cake too! i hope you have a terrific evening and weekend as well, though it will never be as good as if you spent it with me! have fun, and be sure not to cause to much ruckous! be sure not to go clubbing without me (be patient and wait two weeks!!)please phone me if you get a chance, we shall make plans!
love your friend

that is all i really have to say. my day has not be so good. hopefully, my mood shall improve tomorrow.
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could my hair get any worse?   
11:42pm 28/11/2004
mood: nostalgic
mmmmm... matt brought me and shauna food from so good after work tonight! he is such a nice boy! he puts up with so much from me! matthew i thank you! i got salt and pepper tofu and it was sooo good! i think i will have my birthday feast there (with kristie! i dont think she has been there yet?). after work, we went to shauna's so that matt could meet the cat that i am insisting he take. she is sooo anti-social, very much like tiny. im sure that matt and her will get along just fine! anyway, shauna got this brilliant idea that she was going to fix my hair, and so she started to chop it and got a bit carried away... so now i have a boy cut! and i just dont know what to do with it. oh the dilemmas i must face each day :)

awww today, i read kristie's livejournal and it made me cry! i feel so lost without kristie... there are so many times when i go to say something or laugh at something, but i realize that no one but her would understand. its so hard to explain, but she was the only person who truly understood me, without me ever having to actually divulge anything. and we were NEVER bored when we were together. we just always seemed to come up with some way to amuse ourselves... hahaha. kristie come back!!! jessie needs you more than orillia! and ottawa has not had anyone to wreak havok quite the same way that we do it.

well, i suppose i shall go! good night!
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pirates never seem to lose their appeal   
09:30pm 27/11/2004
mood: contemplative
last night i went to visit my nanny in kemptville. it was so nice to see her. i really ought to make more of an effort to visit more often. i think sub-conciously i avoid her house sometimes... though i am unsure why. maybe there are too many teenage hormones left behind? well, kemptville is a place to be avoided.....

anyhow, i went to see finding neverland tonight. such a good movie! i love peter pan...and johnny depp! i cant wait for the new willy wonka- though its not due for release until july!!!! what if i am all grown up by then? hahaha like than will ever happen.

i really feel like i need to do so much growing up. it seems like everyone around me is moving in fast forwad and im slowly moving backward, watching everyone but unable to do anything myself. i really think i need to move away!

ANYHOW- isis and these arms are snakes tomorrow!!!! im am excited! hopefully i can pick up my records from that mike boy also!

good night!
11:21pm 24/11/2004
mood: artistic
ohhhhhhh i love gratitude so much! they are my newest favourite band. jimmy eat world were alright. they didnt play nearly enough static prevails, which made me angry, since thats the only record i really like.
however, it was completely worth it, just to see gratitude! they are amazing!

on another note, my hair is soooo fried! i had to bleach it AGAIN because the black bled into the white and it turned bluish grey. it was terrible, only now my hair looks like i crimped it and it feels sooooo stiff!! i have to stop dying my hair!


i have your hot chocolate. i put it in a pretty gift basket for you with sugar sticks (HAHA). just let me know when you can pick it up (or visit me, which better be soon). ALSO- i want to get a tattoo on my birthday, want to do it? haha seriously though, if i explain what i want, can you help with the drawing/design?

thanks sooooo much!
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my hair is on fire!   
12:41am 22/11/2004
mood: excited
i am in the process of dyeing my hair at this moment, and i am almost positive that it is going to fall out!
almost immediately after i put the dye in, a burning sensation took over my entire head! i hope that my hair lasts at least until the end of tomorrow night. i wouldnt want to go to jimmy eat world bald! (there might be cute emo boys! and im pretty sure they wouldn't like me if i was bald! hahaha)

speaking of jimmy eat world- im actually excited for it. i got made fun of at work all night because i was going :( people have no appreciation for good music. BUT suprisingly, there is a guy at my work who listens to hardcore and we talked for awhile about bane, which was neat!

well, i meant to phone kristie earlier, but i got so sidetracked (as usual)! it was soo nice to speak to her a few days ago (tho im not looking forward to the bill!) its funy how much we both have changed, and yet when i talk to her, it still seems like we speak every day, like nothing changed at all. i miss her so very much! hahaha

oh my goodness- yesterday, i went apartment shopping with matt and of coarse, we had to go to record runner and... I GOT A RITES OF SPRING LP! which was oh so exciting for me. i bought alot of nonsense too, but it was fun while it lasted. i saw a beautiful pink record player at vertigo too, so i am going to speak to my dad about getting it for my birthday (its 370$!)

so we shall see!
anyways, my hair is driving me nuts, so i think i just might rinse it out!
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where's tiny???   
12:43am 15/11/2004
  what happened to my picture of tiny on the background????

cory! please help me!!!!
12:28am 15/11/2004
mood: sleepy
well my internet is connected yet again (for how long is yet to be determined), but until it again disconnected, i have time to make useless livejournal updates :)
unfortunately, not much has been happening lately that i deem worthy enough to share.
i was supposed to go for pho ba with shauna after work but by the end of the night i was in such a foul mood, i just wanted to go home and crawl under my covers and read.

well - i hope all is well with everyone. i've been meaning to call so many people (especially kristie). i just never work up enough motivation to do so.
i really should- and will! i need to organize my life!

enroll in school
call orthodontist (bah! i need to get braces back on)
go apartment shopping with matt (val, care to join?)
call andrew about piercings
call andy to se if he is alive
pick up julia 12"

good enough for now!

good night to all!

1 WEEK TILL JEW (hahahaha)
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tofurky tastes yummy.   
03:17pm 11/10/2004
mood: giddy
happy tofurky day to all!
im soo tired for some reason! i think i work too much! today is my first full day off i who knows how long!
though, i guess saturday might as well count, as i only work a few hours.
well, i had such a girls night on saturday! natalie and i went out for dinner after work. we had originally intended to go to so good, but it was closed for renovations so we ended up going to golden river (despite my aversion to the name).
anyway, then we went back to her place and she bleached the top of my head and decided to cut off all my hair, which actually turned out much better than expected. ( i was expecting a kristie mushrrom cut experience). she put sooo much hair spray in and i lookec like a cross between a lion and erika. she also bleached her hair and it started to fall out in clumps and felt like vermecilli, which was sooooo funny!
i borrowed her sweater on the way home, as it was freezing, and felt so crusty! (hahaha).

it was so weird though, cause i havent hung out with a girl in soooo long, and talked about girly mush stuff. it was neat! it made me miss all my krisite hangouts!

p.s. kristie i tried to e-mail you- i dont think it worked though! if you are in town tonight (monday) call me using the 237-7000 number-its free! if not, call me from orillia if you want, and ill call you back! call me late though- im never home during the day!
11:54am 22/09/2004
mood: excited
yeay for jessie! today the second cup lady called me back! so i start on friday!

matt and i are going to booster juice before work to celebrate! and on saturday, we are going to so good! mmmm!
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isnt tiny beautiful?   
12:55am 21/09/2004
mood: baffled
thank you cory for fixing my livejournal!

i harassed cory all night so that i could make my livejournal more exciting... which i suppose is a pointless endeavor, as no one reads it and i only update it at 3 in the morning.
but nonetheless, it looks lovely (many thanks again to cory).

and hopefully more changes will occur soon! (once i take the time to graspall this computer nonsense).
08:13pm 19/09/2004
mood: frustrated
school is so frustrating! i absolutely hate all of this university junk i have to sort out at the moment!
on a better note, i have an interview at the second cup tomorrow! i also just realized that it happens to be the same location that natalie works at, which is cool. i dont really know how i plan on fitting it in, as i already have two jobs and work 10 hours days.

wow! i really havent updated this in a long while...though i havent had much to say, as my life consists only of lame work and school frustration!
oh i saw garden state with patrick- it was so good. i love stories about people more dysfunctional than myself!

so today while i was drinking coffee with my aunt, she pointed out that i had no female friends, and i tried to counter it, but realized that it is absolutely true! for some reason, girls hate me. i have no friends at all that are girls- they just hate me and i dont know why.
i actually miss having a close female friend. boys just arent the same!
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ever heard of nwobhm??   
02:09am 29/08/2004
mood: exhausted
i hate working late and having to take long bus rides home, as it leaves me wide awake for hours afterwards.

i had to walk home, as oc transpo doesn't seem to understand that some people in orleans come home after 10pm. my feet were killing me, so i walked most of the way in my sock feet.

jo keeps harassing me with scary metal bands that have names that sound like diseases (i.e. vardis). he is making me a mixtape "so i quit listening to emo shit".

ahahahaha i am going to watch a clockwork orange now. what a bizarre movie.
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long and useless update   
10:10pm 22/08/2004
  my computer is being ridiculous right now and wont allow me to do anything

well, i have been working quite abit lately, which is good, as i need to support my unnecessary spending urges.
i went to vertigo on friday with matt and ran into andy. i had to order shotmaker discography and rites of spring. i also need to locate sleepytime trio, though i didnt order it, because i think nelson has it in his distro thing.

i bought:
sunny day real estate- diary
daughters- canada songs (it was pink i had to)
i also stole matt's severin 7", as it was on red vinyl.

we met up with andrew and alyssa later and went to second cup (mmm chai latte) and invisible cinema. unfortunately you need a credit card to rent movies, so i have to go back to get the movies we wanted. instead we went to andy and bens to watch the clash dvd. AND ben was listening to screamo, which scared me, as it is ben, and he just does not do such things.

we also went to jo's for a show, which was amusing. except for the incessant mocking i had to endure for listening to un-punk and emo-ish music. people can be so sillyi want to go to broken social scene on thursday but no one will come with me.
i may force andrew #2 to go since we are having a piercing date that day. yeay for a new piercing.
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